URGENT – WINTER WEATHER MESSAGE
NATIONAL WHEATHER SERVICE
1015 AM EST THU JAN 8 2015

…BLIZZARD CONDITIONS LIKELY TODAY AND TONIGHT FOR PARTS OF SOUTH WEST
FLORIDA… PARTICULARITY IN THE AREA OF THE NAPLES AIRHEAD TECH DAZE

A BMW AIRHEAD BLIZZARD WARNING HAS BEEN ISSUED FOR A PORTION OF  SOUTHWEST FLORIDA… HACK’D R27 GUSTS OF 40 TO 50 MPH ARE EXPECTED TO COMBINE WITH HIGHER VELOCITIES POSSIBLE FOR AIRHEAD TWINS, ESPECIALLY IN THE S AND RS … ABUNDANT BEER WILL LIKELY LEAD TO SIGNIFICANT LUCIDITY REDUCTIONS AND HEAVY FOG AFTER DARK. THE WORST CONDITIONS ARE EXPECTED ON SATURDAY, AS DOZENS OF AIRHEAD MOTORCYCLES ARE BLOWN APART IN THE MIDST OF REPAIRS… CONDITIONS WILL HOPEFULLY IMPROVE SUNDAY AS THE ASSEMBLED AIRHEAD MOTORCYCLES ARE REASSEMBLED AND THE ASSEMBLED AIRHEAD RIDERS SOBER UP AND RETURN HOME.