If you gotta stay home and work or take care of a loved one, we understand. But poverty is an excuse to ride and camp and rally, not a deterrent. Heck, during the couple years between my tenures at Hostess Brands and Postal Service I was on the road most every weekend I couldn’t find work, and I never even had to dig into my savings. And this “rally” thing ain’t just for motorcyclists, just saw a flier for an old tractor, etc. swap meet in Iowa this weekend, with cheap camping and even breakfast served on the grounds. Bummin’ around was never so much fun… 

The parking area pix certainly matches Florida’s, but with not a /2 in sight I had to settle for a /5 to frame the photo. And the shop was busy too:

Replacing pushrod seals on an R100GS… Sorry, no “from the crank out” engine rebuilds, we’re simply too nice with our machinery up here. Yah, sure…

But we did bust open a tranny, with the full “sturm and drag” theatrics involving an impact wrench and lengthy breaker bar as well as the pictured flames. Disassembled said tranny, reassembly delayed while awaiting parts I assume. 

And we attempted to untangle a tangled /5 electrical “system”.

OK, FLairheads, I’ll concede defeat… We had a mere 3 bikes apart at once compared to your 7, and though our host Minnesota Air Marshall Curt Henry offered overnight camping, I don’t think anyone took him up on it. Maybe best that we didn’t get Curt in conflict with his suburb’s zoning commissars, And the FLairheads do have the advantage of being in a state with no local government outside the big cities, and helps too that some of the FLairheads have some acreage to work with… I mean, you can hide a lot in a 600 foot deep lot in the tropics! So without near a week to complete our “repairs”, we were kinda careful in how severe a mechanical maladies we took on.

But we ate good- Curt’s most awesome blueberry scones for brunch followed by a leisurely pulled pork with all the trimmin’s lunch. So we matched the esteemed FLairheads in the culinary department. Now if we can just line up a half dozen lifts, a full machine shop at our disposal, and a city that won’t complain if we take up permanent residence. Oh yah, we need some of Florida’s airhead gurus too… Hey guys, gettin’ a little hot and stuffy down there? Maybe wanna come up north for the summer?

Now you’d think the most read articles on this attempt at journalism (the standards for blogs are pretty low) would be tomes on the latest and greatest motorcycles and high performance cars, followed closely by articles on old bikes and maybe truckin’. But despite the fact the I haven’t written about railroading in what seems like months, the most popular articles are on railroading. Heck, every day I get a several readers of a heavily opinionated piece I did on the rise and fall of EMD locomotives a year or so ago! And when the most popular topics among gearheads are trains, that says what will be the major mode of transport this century… Rail!

A bit of history is probably in order here… The 1800s are widely considered the century of rail, as railroads grew their webs across the continents at the expense of water borne transport. Then came the 1900s, the century of air, autos, and trucks as overbuilt railroads went belly up. By late in the 20th century every major american railroad was in bankruptcy court or expected to appear their shortly. Subsidized with near free access to the Interstates, truckers could match rail rates with faster service. Thanks to Uncle Sam’s funding of applied research (every wonder why a 707 looks so much like a B-47) and aviation infrastructure, the airlines stole the passengers off the trains while Greyhound picked up the scraps.

Now if that trend line had continued, there’d be no railroads left. But you can’t fool physics, and rail has the advantage of the inherent lower rolling resistance of steel wheels on rail plus the aerodynamic advantage of being able to couple mile long trains of “drafting” railcars together. Aviation doesn’t have to concern themselves with rolling resistance much, but it takes massive amounts of fuel to create the lift to keep a plane from crashing. Therein lies the secret of why the 21st century will be the second rail century… The cheap fuel is gone, the roads are being all but abandoned, and aviation has largely become a cesspool of bankrupt “zombie carriers” and literal “fly by night” under capitalized upstarts flying on easy credit and cheap labor. Meanwhile, the rails are largely the only mode seeing reinvestment- While there’s barely highway funding to patch potholes, BNSF is reinvesting 20% of profits in maintenance and upgrading of their tracks and trains.

And well they should be… Throughout the recession, rail freight and passenger volumes continued to rise. I live along what would charitably be called a “secondary main track”, a single track connecting a couple more important mainlines. But  few years ago you’d seldom see a full mile long train on such tracks, just a few locals with ten or twenty cars and maybe a 50 car through train or two a day. Heck, volume is up to the point that between the unit trains of coal, oil, ethanol, grain, and frac sand several hundred car “mixed trains” pass daily, full of refrigerated, flat, gondola, and just about every other imaginable car except intermodal well cars… Probably would get them too if it wasn’t for a low bridge or three. Not just empties either, saw one mixed freight the other day with “distributed power”- A remote control “pusher” engine at the rear of the train! The same picture is seen all over the world… For example, Florida East Coast recently picked up a bunch of short haul intermodal business because their trucking company competitors couldn’t find drivers to move the trailers at the starvation wages they we’re offering. That’s the same FEC railroad that’s planning to offer passenger service without needing a cent of subsidy. They’ll probably pull it off too, given that Amtrak’s Empire Builder’s fares alone are covering nearly 90% of operating costs. And that’s on a train where scarce high priced sleeping car seats sell out months in advance- Give the ‘Builder a couple more sleeping cars and it’d probably be Amtrak’s first train to turn a profit!

Now of course, not all is sweetness and light on the rails- For example, Canadian Pacific’s new management team is doing their best to chase away customers, just like they did at Canadian National. And no doubt the newbies at EMD’s new Indiana plant are still trying to figure out how to build locomotives, and probably similar manufacturing misadventures are underway at GE’s new Fort Worth plant. But the 21st century rail renaissance is so robust that it won’t matter much- CPR’s jilted customers will move to competing railroads or pay more, and with shortlines running hundred car freights and Amtrak’s fleet pushing two decades age the market can only grow.

Good thing there’s a siding on that track by my home… We may need it!

Or maybe I’ll renew… Couple months ago was an excellent test of oils, even including Rotella T diesel oil along with the pricey motorcycle oils. Then last month we get a multi rider tire comparison of dual sport tires. This months feature was on camping, and after a few pages of “product placement” there was a couple seriously good articles on camping for the newbies. But this is still BMWMOA, that holds their sole affordable even, the national rally, in the hottest spots in july… Maybe in hopes we’ll give up on camping, see the light, and go on their pricey all-in hotel based tours instead.

Then I hear the other day that after this years national rally in wet but cool western Oregon, next years rally will be in Minnesota at the state fairgrounds. What’s not to like… Square miles of space, bus service at the front gate, light rail two miles away, a bellyache gulch of eateries in multiple directions, couple a miles to REI, and ACd indoor space galore if global warming makes a comeback. And heck, don’t even need to ride… The rally is but a light rail and bus transfer away from the Amtrak station!

Dang, I may have to reup my membership! But not much chance of BMW selling me anything…

I know… Your significant other(s), condo board, housing inspector, nosy neighbors, your mother, and even your dad think you should clean out the garage/basement/parking spot so they can park their shiny new car/bicycle/big screen TV in it. That assumes you’re lucky enough to even have a garage… Many big cities are even pressuring developers to build new housing with no parking space, never mind garages. Yup, the Condoing of America is a threat to rolling history. Take a look at Europe or Japan, which are a few decades ahead of us on this deadly (to history) trend… Thousands of innocent citizens jammed into clustered and stacked cubicles, with so little space that the only wheeled transport allowed, bicycles, end up out on the decks. They keep this up and future generations will have no knowledge of history other than old video games.

Now that 1000 number is significant, because it tends to be the threshold population a vehicle needs to maintain to keep an ecosystem of parts and knowledge alive to maintain the species. In the public eye and that of museum managers, 1000 of the species surviving tend to keep the species alive in the public consciousness. That’s why the common icon of the diesel streamlined locomotive is the EMD E and F series, because at least a hundred of them survive versus at best a handful of similar Alcos and maybe a sole surviving Baldwin “Sharknose” hiding in the U.P.. Thus when the surviving population of a vehicle slips below a thousand in North America it should be put on the gearhead’s endangered species list, and woe be any busybody dogooder, amateur or paid, that tries to haul it off to the crusher. Crushing is forever… A piece of history forever lost!

Back to the Cooper S and it’s garage mates… Over 30,000 R100G/Ss were built, and with public records from GB and Australia showing that after 20 years about 10% of motorcycles survive, it’ll probably narrowly avoid the endangered species list. But the R80ST and R65LS easily make the endangered list, with only 6000 of each ever built and maybe 600 surviving. The Quota behind the big hack has probably already made the endangered list with maybe 1500 built and 100 to 200 shipped to North America over a decade ago. The population of a vehicle “species” tends to be halved just in it’s first decade of life, and a collector vehicle may see but 10% survive past their 20th birthday. For more common vehicle, something like 2-3% survive 20 years, with continuing decimation thereafter… That still leaves thousands of 57 Chevys and 60s Mustangs to litter car shows. Given that there’s only a handful of hack makers left in the country and even the most prolific might build a hundred in a good year, there’s probably less than a thousand of any model hack in existance… Thus both the Motorvation sidecars in the pix should be on the endangered list, although with a handful of sidecar builders still building, we’ve at least got some mating pairs. Even the crashed and tweaked bicycle frameset on the wall might make the endangered list, Trek 7500s with Women’s frames seem pretty rare. State Farm already paid it off, but they never said I couldn’t tweak it straight and refit it. Got maybe three other bikes that qualify for the endangered list- a Teledyne Titan (at most 2000 built), Santana tandem, and even my daily rider Bike Friday folder has never been built in great numbers.

This little post got started a few weeks back when I was reading up on museum collecting techniques and such in anticipation of adding to the “collection”. Well, turns out I’ve already got a collection and haven’t been totally responsible in preserving these endangered species… Though I have at least kept them from the crusher and indoors now that I’ve got adequate garage space. So it’s time to forget schemes to cannibalize one airhead to keep another alive, and the Cooper S at least needs to be pulled out of that corner and cleaned up, maybe even made runnable but rusty for now. The Quota’s paint wont be bastardizeded to match the hack’s, the ST and LS will be kept quick instead of dead, and the hacks have a home forever!

But first gotta run up to the Motocycle shop and get a new tire for the ’07 F800S today… only 700 of them imported!

Out of season, and was hunting for some “loose car” moves on the old DM&E… Which seem to have been scarcer since the new Regime took over. That’s a Pete with a lift pusher axle, a pair of Smith side dump trailers with 3 of 6 axles liftable, and a 3 axle converter dolly. Overall length is around 100 feet and legal Gross Combination Weight is around a mere 170,000 pounds, over twice the 80k legal max on most U.S. roads

The cold and wintry test ride was a disaster- either I’d drained the oil from the driveshaft and final drive and forgotten to refill it or it’d drained itself, but I did 50 miles with those pricey bits near bone dry. That was just the half of it- had a miniature Exxon Valdez coming from the lower rear of the engine too and massive clutch slip. Decided I’d better rely on another bike to pull the hack through the 2012 campaign season and put the R100GS back together.

The GS limped along the campaign trail OK, with a top-up of the tranny oil level every couple hundred miles to make up for what leaked out the back and occasional blasts of degreaser at the clutch at idle to keep the slip at bay.  ”Twas good motivation to acquire a low mileage Guzzi Quota to pull the hack, and the hack’n was just completed a few weeks back.

Bored, and with the errant ST staring at me in the living room, I tore it back down. Rechecked my rear main seal install, OK. Replaced the tranny input shaft bearing I’d missed at tranny tech day. Put on a new oil pan gasket and added the couple missing bolts at the rear of the pan. Filled and drained the final drive, came out clean, probably survived- no unusual noises and barely (.3 mm at the brake drum interface) noticeable play. Put it all together and it don’t leak except for the now usual neutral switch.

So I kluge on a sidestand (the hack was on duty elsewhere) and strap the big old car battery on the rack and start ‘er up… Runs fine, and no leaks but the usual suspect neutral switch. Now pumped, and thanks to the insurance company with the cute reptile that runs trains on the side letting me insure three old bikes for the same price as two, I make a test ride. Confirmed my suspicions that a standard ST is too high for me without a ‘hack, but rides OK. But get on the highway and give it more than half throttle and the clutch slip is back. And did I mention that the hole in the muffler is growing and it’s gettin’ near Harley loud?

So let’s do the numbers… Bought the ST over 40k miles ago with bags for $2200. In those 40k miles it required a $200 tranny bearing replacement at 100k, a $500 shock at $90k, and a $200 valve regrind at 88k. I shoulda just  retired the ST for the occasional ride around the ‘hood… But Nooo! I went in $1500 deeper! 

Now the going price for an early 80s airhead is around $2-3k, and for that money you see a lot of bikes with maybe 30-60k miles that need no major work. That’s about the same price as an engine, tranny, and everything else that’s going to need rebuilding on a 100k mile airhead will cost, even if you assemble it yourself. Send the bike to a qualified shop and that bill will likely rise into 5 digits… For that kind of money your friendly and hopefully local Guzzi dealer will be happy to supply a 750 cc. airhead that weights about the same and rides like the old airhead you’ve come to know and love/hate, ‘cept the cylinders are a bit closer together and it has a two year warranty. And if you’re cheap like most airheads, the Guzzi dealer in the South Dakota has a left over demo with 2k easy miles largely accrued by the mature female part owner of the dealership, asking price $6600.

Maybe I should try a bit of degreaser sprayed through the inspection hole on that clutch…

Yup, got the Guzzi Quota stuck… Forgot how deep the ditch was there! Couple minutes work with the shovel and a bit of rocking and the Quota was freed. Gotta ride while you can, three inches more forecast for tomorrow!

Used to be I’d have read through the Form 1040 instructions and plotted my strategies before tax year’s end, but now that I’m retired and owing I don’t get serious ’til the last week or so. And yes, pick up and peruse 1040 and it’s instructions, never know when you’ll find a deduction or credit you never heard of. I generally speed read through the “additional taxes” and “additions to income” sections though…

So proceeding through good ol’ 1040, we first have to deal with the issue of marriage, and keep in mind here that even if your spouse has already fled the coup, complaining of the dozen or so “parts cars” in the yard, motorcycles in the living room, smelly metal things put in the oven, and your adaptation of the dishwasher as a “parts washer”… Until the divorce decree is decreed  you still have the option of filing jointly or separately. Unless your spouse is of the same gender, in which case the feds still won’t honor your marriage even if you share an immaculate thousand plus square foot air conditioned garage with matching Snap On tool boxes and lifts. 

Next up we’re asked for dependents; And are not our assemblages of motorcycles. classic cars and trucks, even tractors, very expensive dependents. But Noooo… And the IRS won’t even accept VIN numbers in place of Social Security numbers on the form. Worse yet, unlike the human dependents that become there own or somebody else’s expense (hopefully) at age 18, our wheeled mechanical dependents cost even more as they age… ‘Tain’t fair!

The next dozen odd lines regarding income are pretty self explanatory, we obviously don’t have enough, and don’t go looking too hard for any more to report! Now the fun part begins- Adjustments! Did you buy another couple thou in tools last year and once in awhile use one at work… Sorry, you’ll have to itemize that on Schedule A! However, if you managed to find a welding course or similar training in such “obsolete” and useful arts, you might be able to deduct that on line 34. And if you’ve got any money left, put it in an IRA… Unfortunately they’ll only let you “invest” it in boring stuff like stocks, bonds, CDs, etc.. Aah, if only we could invest our IRAs in old cars and motorcycles… Probably get a lot better rate of return too!

Time to flip the form over. Be careful with Line 39- Even though taxes are driving to drinkin’ worse than a hot rod Lincoln and you’re going blind from said drinkin’, you can’t actually claim blindness until you’ve gone blind. Read carefully all the other “credits”- for example, a moderate income retiree like me can put $2000 that I could have better spent on tools into an IRA and get a $200 tax credit to spend on less tools. I know, it don’t make sense, but do it.  And no, I don’t make these crazy tax laws that give a retiree money for investing in a retirement savings account… And yes, ya gotta work all the angles- I have a UPS 401K even though I’ve never been a full time permanent member of the “brown army”.

On to “Other Taxes”, as if we need any more. Finally time to add it all up, you’re sitting down, I hope? Hopefully you’ll be getting a nice big check to “waste” on more toys and tools. If not, time to get really creative- Heck, the neighbors say your place looks like a pigsty and your garage a barn in bad repair… Maybe it’s time to retroactively become a “farmer” and deduct your old pickup, the garden tractor, and all that grass you tore up when you took that corner to fast?

Still can’t afford your taxes? Well, it’s time to plot long term strategy… Does the IRS really want a bunch of old clunkers and busted bikes with misplaced motors? Time to grunge up those old coveralls in anticipation of your eventual appearance in tax court!

(The disclaimer: This ain’t legal advice, even though you don’t have to be a lawyer to practice before the IRS. If you follow my advice and get invited to the local IRS office, I’ll come with… Not as a legal representative, but to laugh my ass off! And if all else fails, I hear that Federal Prison Industries will teach you to weld and you might even get to wrench on exciting government vehicles!)

Undaunted, for the (re)intro of the Fiesta a couple years back, Ford outdid themselves with a hundred young and of course trendy “Fiesta Agents” on trendy missions to all the trendy places, splattered over every social media yet invented. Heck, the agents even had to submit u-tube videos with their applications. Haven’t seen the stats yet, but behind the wheel of just about every Fiesta I’ve seen was a “woman of a certain age”.

So here we are, on the threshold of the restyled 2014 update of the 6th generation Fiesta, and Ford is giving “social media” another try. Heck, their copy of a ’69 Mustang still sells well, so why not? And predictably, with similar results, ‘cept the median buyer will now probably be aged 65…. Maybe Ford should co-market with Medicare Supplement plans?

Ford isn’t alone in this stupidity- GM paid a blogger to drive a new GM car every month and brag it up while she toured around the country, her fake admiration of the suburban was hilarious. Over at Fiat’s Mopar division they’ve got the “Jeep Girls”, whose response to a blizzard is to take in a symphony performance… Any self respecting CJ driver knows “blizzard” is an excuse to “break trails” for the less fortunate 2WD owners and drag a few out of the snowbanks!

I’m beginning to suspect that Detroit faces the same demographic disaster as the republican party- aging buyers headed for the great highways in the sky while turning off younger buyers with $20,000+ subcompacts that will be liabilities in a decade. And why even make a major effort to sell new cars to young folks, given that today’s average college graduate makes but $32k a year and already carries $30k in college debt. Yea, there sure gonna be buying lots of $20+k new cars with all that debt load and low income… Not! No wonder only 1% of new car sales are to buyers under 25, and only 10% to buyers under 35!

Given those demographics, Ford might want to loan those Fiestas to retirees with an unlimited expense tab for coffee and a stack of Fiesta brochures instead of a bunch of twenty-somethings with a smartphone in every pocket. And if they want to motivate those young folks that are suffering with decade old Focuses, a “campaign” to debug those lemons, free online access to manuals, and parts and labor discount cards good at the friendly local Ford dealership would be more effective…